In Loving Memory of Greyson

​My story with Greyson isn’t a long one, in fact, it only lasted a year and a half. But let me tell you, it was the best year and a half I could have ever asked for. I was shown so much love and was able to give as much love as I ever thought possible. Our story started around July 2018. I had been living with my boyfriend, Jack, for probably six months at this point and I always felt like I was missing something. I really can’t remember a time not having any dogs. I was ready to open my heart and home to a new family member. Jack wasn’t quite ready yet though. We are young and we like to take trips or stay out late from time to time. None of this really bothered me though, I just figured we would cross the bridge when we got there. I mean, is there ever a perfect time for anything? 

​I started obsessing about adopting a dog. I wanted one so bad, they just bring me so much joy. So I came across this app called ‘WeRescue’. You see the dog’s pictures and if you click on a picture you can read their bio. I began to pretty much torture myself going through this app daily even though I knew Jack wasn’t ready. But I continued to look anyway, never really thinking anything would come of it. But then, I came across Greyson. I took one look at him and I thought he was beautiful and perfect. I opened up his bio and everything I read was just icing on the cake. It said things about his training and his personality. I remember it talking about him being a lazy boy, and man, wasn’t that the truth? He really did love his naps… but we’ll get to that a little later.
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​I began to obsess over Greyson. I stared at his pictures all the time. I read his bio over and over again. I showed everyone I knew. I needed him. I showed Jack and he thought he was a beautiful dog, but we ended up at the same conversation of just not being ready. I, being the stubborn person I am, was unwilling to accept that. I think it was the next day, I ended up applying to adopt Greyson. I don’t think I really expected to be accepted as we lived in a 700 sq. ft. apartment and he was a 60 lb. pit bull. Sure enough though, I was contacted for further discussion about the adoption process and meeting Greyson. But now came the hard part… asking Jack to go meet him with me. I told him we would just go meet him and go on the training walk with Mitzy down in Long Beach. He was reluctant because he knew I would get attached to Greyson and he didn’t want to be the bad guy in the situation, but he agreed and we went.

​The first time I met Greyson, I had an immediate connection with him. I fell in love with his big goofy face. He was so excited to meet us, hopping all over the place and rolling over on his back for belly rubs. He was a total ham and I just ate it up. The training program began and we lined up with Greyson with all the other dogs in a line. Mitzy was teaching us about the program and what the dogs learn there. I was so impressed with how well behaved Greyson was. He even peed on command, like come on, that’s so freaking cool! The whole time I was just thinking, who wouldn’t want this dog? Why hasn’t he been adopted yet? It just didn’t make sense. He was perfect. He had his flaws like all dogs do but he was perfect for me. Our time that day with Greyson came to a close very quickly. Jack was right, I was attached. 

​I think over all we ended up meeting Greyson three separate times at this training walks down in Long Beach with Mitzy. I kept dragging Jack back there telling him I just wanted to help or I just wanted to see him. He knew better but we still went. He knows me better than I know myself sometimes. After the third time meeting Greyson, Jack just finally said, we can’t keep doing this anymore, we’re just torturing ourselves. Of course, I’m devastated but that doesn’t stop me from begging to adopt Greyson.

​Over the next month or so, I become a broken record begging and begging to bring Greyson home. Jack put up with it but he stuck with his guns, we just do too many things that a dog would make complicated. I don’t remember if I let it go at one point or if we just kind of stopped talking about it. One night, Jack and I had come home from work and we were just unwinding from the day. Jack was playing a game on his computer and I was on the couch watching TV. He had asked me to grab something out of his bag and I remember responding like “You get it”. He just said something like “No, please can you grab it?” I was annoyed he made me get up when he could have but I went over to the bag and I grabbed what he asked for and handed it to him. He looks at me and says “Really?” I just responded “This is what you asked for, isn’t it?” He says “You didn’t even look in the bag.” I had no idea what he was talking about. He says “Go look again.” At this point I’m super confused and just wanted him to tell me what he wanted. I picked up his bag again and looked around and immediately I realize what he was trying to do. My eyes flooded with tears as I pulled out a leash and matching collar. I just started sobbing, saying “Don’t you dare tease me!” and he just said he would never tease about something like this. Immediately I texted Mitzy to tell her we’re ready to bring Greyson home. 

​We brought Greyson home from the trainer’s house on a Friday night so we would have the weekend to help him adapt to his new home. The second he walked in the door I think he knew he was home. We immediately became best friends. He followed me everywhere. He still was slightly hesitant though, rightfully so. He was in a new place with new people he didn’t know if he could trust completely yet. He wasn’t initially into his toys and he was not ready to cuddle yet. Those things came later. He was the most perfect dog though. He never chewed anything he wasn’t supposed to and he never had an accident. I used to brag at how he truly did know the difference between things like shoes on the floor and his toys. While he was home alone he would just lay on the edge of the couch so he could watch out the window until we came home. He was the renter’s dream. He never barked and he was always loving to whomever came through the door.

​Over time as Greyson grew in comfort and trust he began to show his real true self. He began to play with his toys and just explode with love and goofiness. He really had such a strong personality. Greyson was going to do what Greyson wanted to do. And boy was he a lazy dog. He loved his sleep. He napped all day and slept like a rock at night. He was also very picky. If he did not want to cuddle with you while he was resting and you tried to cuddle with him he would just flat out get up and move. You couldn’t help but laugh at that. 

​Then it would come time for his walk and there was nothing that would excite him more. He couldn’t wait to get out into the world and smell all the smells. I used to call him my little dinosaur because the way he reared up on his hind legs and put up his front paws looked like a T-Rex. I tried to find places that were enclosed so he could run as much as I could. He never lasted long though. He got tired after less than 10 minutes. He’d be ready to go back inside and nap it off. Eventually as more time passed, he also began to cuddle which was my favorite thing. I loved when he started to cuddle. I could give him all the loves we both could ever give and receive. 

​Greyson was with me through a lot. A lot. As I look back over this past year, it just shows me how much that is true. As I write this I just can’t help but thank God for giving me Greyson over probably the hardest year of my life. When we brought him home, I had no idea what was coming and how much he would truly help me through everything. From being the victim of a sexual harassment case, dealing with pursuing a restraining order, to a breakup with the love of my life, to having a stalker, to losing a best friend and having to drop out of her wedding as maid of honor. Greyson also had a mass removed from his elbow around March 2019. It came back as a grade 2 mast cell tumor. They took as much as they could but there was no way to know if they got clean margins. Things just kept happening.

​As I look back over this past year though, it wasn’t all bad. There some amazing high points as well. For starters, I found my way back to the love of my life and we are happier than ever. I graduated college and I got my dream job. The constant was always Greyson. He helped me to keep pushing and not let all of the bad keep me from obtaining all of the good. He always kept me positive. The start of 2020 I was really ready for a great year. I had my boyfriend, an amazing apartment, started my new career and I had my sweet Greyson. We became this perfect little family of three. Watching Jack’s bond with Greyson flourish was beautiful to see. Our love for him just couldn’t have been any greater. Everything just seemed to be so good. I wanted to ride that wave for as long as I could. Fast forward, we get into COVID-19. Everything obviously changed. All of a sudden I was working from home and stuck in the house for weeks without being able to see friends or family. My boyfriend, Jack was still going to the office so it was just me and Greyson at home all day every day. It really began to take a toll on me but Greyson got me through every day. 

​This brings me to the hard part of my story. The toll of being stuck inside had really gotten to me. I became short and irritated during the evenings and I didn’t have anyone else to take it out on except Jack. Unfair, I know, but it happened. Jack never missed a beat. He never became angry or upset at my attitude. He knew what I was going through. I realized I was not being kind but it was just one of those moods I could not shake. So the next day after I had been cranky for a couple nights, Jack texts me from work and says “Take a drive with Greyson somewhere today at lunch. Even if it’s just to the park.” It was so random I just asked “why”. He said “to get out of the house” and I said “okay”. 

​That day on my lunch break from work, I took Greyson to the car and he hopped in and we started driving. Being in the car was one of his favorite things. He would just hang his head out the window and let his jowls flap in the wind. He was funny too because if you came to a red light or a stop and it took too long to get moving again he would whine and be very upset we were not moving. Greyson and I ended up driving down to the beach that day. I’m not even sure how I ended up there, it’s just where I was taken. We drove down PCH and soaked up the beautiful day it was. It really was just the perfect day. We turned around and came home because I only had an hour break. If I could’ve, I think I would have driven for hours. We got back home and I felt amazing. I texted Jack and just said thank you. I really needed to get out and enjoy the sun and feel a sense of freedom. 

​The next day would turn into one of the worst days of our lives and we would have no idea. It was a normal Saturday. We woke up, I took Greyson on his morning walk, we relaxed and enjoyed the morning. I ended up going to visit Jack’s mom at her garden shop she runs in Old Town Orange to catch up and chat while social distancing in the back yard. I took Greyson with me so he could enjoy being outside for a little while extra. I began to get hungry so we said our goodbyes and headed home. Around 4pm Jack and I took Greyson on what would be his last walk. Everything seemed so normal, we had no idea anything was wrong.

​We got back to our apartment and Greyson laid down, which again was totally normal. He was always tired after his walks. But then he stood up and looked like he was going to lay down in his bed and he took a couple steps and collapsed. Jack got up because he thought he just plopped down in a cooler spot and was trying to pet him. There was no response from Greyson, which wasn’t normal. We tried to get him up but he wouldn’t even lift his head, he was only tracking us with his eyes. We knew then, something was very wrong. Jack picked him up and we went to the car to get to the vet. On our way to the vet, Greyson laid down in the back seat the entire time, unable to really stand. That was so so so wrong. He loved the car. He loved hanging his head out the window.

​ We got to the vet right before they closed so they ended up sending us to the emergency vet. We got to the emergency vet and we were getting him checked in and trying to explain what was wrong but we didn’t really know what was wrong. All I could really say was he collapsed and I know something is wrong. He is not himself. Due to COVID-19 we were not allowed inside the vet. We walked Greyson in and we had no idea that that was the last time we would ever see him. We were forced to wait in the car and just pray that everyone was doing their best to take care of him. Hours later we finally received a call from the doctor. She said she did bloodwork, x-rays and an ultrasound. She couldn’t see any masses from his cancer but she could see he had fluid in his abdomen and his liver seemed to be failing. She explained our options that we could make him comfortable and take him home to see how things went and send samples taken for further testing to find out was wrong or we could do exploratory surgery to see if she could find anything. I asked the vet very flat out if it was time to put him down. I did not want to bring him home out of selfishness. She told me that she would tell me if she thought it was time to put him down and she didn’t think it was time. Jack and I then agreed to make him comfortable to bring him home. We were not going to put him through an exploratory surgery that he may possibly not even come out of. After they finally were finished administering treatments and medications, they were having us sign paperwork to bring him home.

​We finished the paperwork and we were waiting for Greyson when the next thing we know a nurse is running out yelling they’re performing CPR. The vet called me saying she didn’t know how long we wanted them to continue with CPR because Greyson had passed away. Jack and I were never able to say goodbye to the best dog we could ever ask for. And we felt so much hurt and guilt for not being there with him during his last hours. It wasn’t fair at all. Greyson deserved so much more than being scared and alone inside the vet. We finally were able to see his body as they wheeled him out on a cart in a trash enclosure outside of the building for us to say goodbye. It was absolutely disgusting and horrible having to say goodbye to him by the garbage cans and I will never be okay with that. We talked to the doctor and we said our goodbyes to Greyson. We took his collar and we went home. The next couple days were filled with sadness and hurt. The feelings I felt are feelings that I have never felt before. Jack and I would basically take turns breaking down. I think we both knew that we couldn’t both break down at the same time. We got each other through as best we could. ​

  
After a few days, I decided I needed to focus on the positive things. I couldn’t keep allowing this pain in my heart. I began to think how lucky I had been over the previous 5 weeks. I had gotten to spend every single day with Greyson. He was never alone for any of that time. I also got to take him on one of the best adventures the day before he passed. Words cannot describe how grateful I am for that time. He knew how loved he was and still is. Jack and I spoiled him every day. He was my very best friend. I looked forward to every day getting so spend time with him and smother him in love. He never let me out of his sight. He even learned how to open the doors in our apartment because if I was on the other side and he wasn’t, he was not happy. He was just everything to us. I look back and I truly thank God for giving me this time with him, no matter the length. I hope it was enough to repay him for everything he gave me over our journey together. Everything happens for a reason and timing is truly everything. I think my story with Greyson is the perfect example of that. I will never forget any of the lessons he taught me and I will never stop loving him. I cannot wait until the day we meet again. Rest in paradise, Greyson. We love you so much. Until we meet again.

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